When Worlds Collide
by Jenjen1
Summary: Ok, this stroy is pretty sick and isn't finished, but it's hilarious (even thought the characters are completely out of character) and a great pick me up for a bad day. It includes some of the Buffy, Angel, and Charmed cast. Enjoy :)


Title: When Worlds Collide  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them and actually I didn't even write this story my friend (who wishes to be unknown) wrote it for entertainment while we were talking online. She calls herself Draco's Pumpkin Puff (don't ask about the nick name I had nothing to do with it) and gave me permission to post this so here it is.  
Distribution: want it, take it.   
AN: It's one monster run-on paragraph with probably a whole bunch of mistakes. And truthfully I don't care if you hate, flame all you want, but I believe this is a perfect pick-me-up story.  
  
Cole is stripping paint off the gutter walls, with his nails, when he encounters a piece of gray matter, Jenn's brain. When he touches the gray matter, he suddenly becomes possessed by Jenn's sickened brain. Cole begins dancing and singing "I'm singing in the rain" even though it's snowing. Pheobe runs into him and grabs a camera to blackmail him with. Then Jenn's mind takes over again... and Cole and Pheobe are suddenly transported to the p3. Where Piper has suddenly decided to change the club into a strip club and the first stripper that came into mind for her to hire was....Cole!!! Cole disappears and suddenly runs in wearing.... black leather pants, a super man shirt, and a blue cape. He jumps onto the bar and is greeted by whoops, and hoots. Oddly enough, Pheobe's dad is lurking in the shadows when he sees Cole on the bar doing a lap dance. His jaw falls, and he leaves... deciding not to let Pheobe get married to him Cole on the other hand is being attacked by underwear. (Let's not say how the audience got those things) Suddenly Pheobe arrives to check up on piper, and sees Cole dancing on the bar.... she eyes a few girls and guys that have already fainted from his "magical dance". She raises an eyebrow and says, "He looks good in black leather pants." Then Jenny's gray matter of brain begins to disintegrate because the whole situation she created up is too insane Cole and everybody else snap out of their trances. And Cole finds himself partially stripped dancing in front of everybody on the bar, "Cole... honey... Why are you partially naked and dancing in front of everybody on the bar?" Pheobe says. Leo suddenly appears to see the aftermath of the delusions "EEG! Black leather pants do not work well with you," he says to Cole who is now hiding away in a broom closet because of the embarrassment. Pheobe comes over, and knocks on the closet door and says "Don't worry Cole baby... I think you look really nice in those black leather pants...". She gets a thoughtful expression. "Actually, I'd prefer it if you didn't have those black leather pants on...". Leo's jaw drops and he looks at Pheobe in that what-happened-to-you way. Piper on the other hand smacks Leo on the head, and pulls him away muttering to him "leave the love birds alone my chocolate bunny..." "Chocolate bunny?" Leo asks. "Yes, chocolate bunny... you're going to be my little chocolate bunny when the night is over," she says innocently, whipping out chocolate syrup and a pair of bunny ears. Leo takes a hint, and runs away... "But I don't like chocolate!! I'm allergic to it!" Piper runs after him, squirting chocolate syrup at him like a water gun.... "HAHH!!! Gotcha!" "Pheobe" says a small voice from inside the broom closet "Yes, what my pumpkin puff?" asks Pheobe, leaning against the door and hearing some shuffling, and some odd sucking sounds "You never told me this is a make out closet...." "So..?" "There's a couple making out in it!!" "COLE!!! ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME??" "eeep...." "COLE!!!" yells pheobee, banging on the door... "Cut it out you jerk!" yells Paige "Can't you tell that we're busy???" screams Angel!! "Pheobe... There's your half sister and a vampire here in this closet" Suddenly Buffy appears through the doors and storms in, kicking open the closet door. Angel and Paige were trying to make out what they saw in a tiny crystal ball... Cole on the other hand was in black silk boxers... the leather pants on the floor (because of Pheobe's suggestion) Buffy kicks open the closet door, exposing the secret place where Angel and Paige liked to predict the future in. Then Buffy takes one look at the leather pants on the floor, and looks thoughtful "Angel, you'd look really fine in those pants..." "Really?" asks Angel absentmindedly, staring at the pants... "They look tight." Suddenly. Cordelia pops out of nowhere and pushes Buffy out of the way to look at the pants... "They are not too tight... " She says in a matter of fact statement. (She is after all fashion obsessed.) "I'd think they'd look really nice on you..." Angel begins to pick up the pants, but is attacked by Cole, who screams, "Those are my leather pants you leach!"   
Luyi Huang: (Cole... somehow forgot he was still in his boxers.) Cole and Angel begin to fight over the leather pants... While Buffy, Cordelia and Pheobe standing next to her, observing the scene. "I still think Cole would look fine without those leather pants" mutters Pheobe. Buffy looks at a Cole, who's attempting to pull Angel's *gasp sacred* hair out.... "I have to agree with you on that point," adds Buffy... "But, do you think Cole would be nice enough to give Angel the pants? Angel looks really bad in his bright pink boxers with his hairy legs..." she says, studying the rim of pink poking out from his black pants. "HEY! I gave him that! And its a string thong, not a pair of boxers" said Cordelia Buffy becomes silent.... She suddenly claps her hand together, and says "Well then, we'll just have to see how bad/good he looks in that pink thong." Buffy, Cordelia, and Pheobe manage to pull the two of them away from the leather pants (which happens to be in shreds) "Angel," says Buffy. "Take off your pants." "What? In front of everyone?" he gasps, staring at her. In a softer tone, he mutters into her ear, "shouldn't we be doing this in private." "Absolutely NOT! Take off those pants right now!" Angel blushes. (Who knew he could blush?) And strips off his pants... revealing... not a pair of pink boxers... not a pink thong.... but... A...big green oak leaf, tied around his waist by pink ribbon. Everybody in the p3 gasps, and stares Angel goes... "Aww... Buffy... why did you make me do it??? Everybody's looking at me!" "Like a work of art," mutters Pheobe to Buffy. She nods in agreement, looking at him in a new light. Cordelia, on the other hand, whips out a Kodak camera and starts taking pictures! *snap* *snap* "NOOO!!!" "Come on Angel!! Hold still!" "NOOOOO!!!!!!" he yells, hiding away in the closet... (mind you, he can't run wearing an oak leaf) "Come on Angel! You don't want me to spank you for being so disobedient do you??" says Cordelia "Nooo!! I thought you were my friend! Friends don't take pictures of other friends in the nude!" "True," Cordelia says... another thoughtful look. "But, you're not in the nude! You're partially nude..." she pointed out "I'm wearing an oak leaf!" "I'm wearing a frickin oak leaf!! Have I mentioned that I hated nature!" "Then why did you wear a frickin oak leaf in the beginning, Mr. Alpha Male turned cry baby??" ask Cordelia "Because, the crystal ball said that Buffy would come and visit me!" "Well, I think, It's a perfectly nice oak leaf... green, leafy... and big.. " says Paige, patting him on the shoulder, glaring at Cordelia for being so mean. Cole started dressing himself in what's left of the shredded black leather pants heard Angel's complaining and looked over... "Aww... come on... You don't look that bad in an oak leaf." "Really?" asked Angel, trying to back away from him. "Chill, Angel toots... Cole's mine already," added Pheobe "So, will you Angel, grace us with a strip show? After all this is a strip club, and you're the only one who's already partially stripped," said Piper, patting a Leo that's dressed in bunny ears. Angel looked at them, but all he saw was hopeful faces... "Fine," he mumbled, walking over to the bar "I hope he's a better stripper than a singer," Cordelia muttered to Buffy, who nodded in agreement. "Trust me... he is," said Paige, innocently "What did you say?" asked Buffy, turning around to face her. "I said, 'trust me... he is.' I saw him stripping in the crystal ball a few moments ago." They watched as Angel, carefully climbed onto the bar, looking thoroughly embarrassed. "Errr..." he said, feeling uncomfortable "Well, come on! What are you waiting for? Darla??" screamed Buffy, trying to get the show on the road. "Did somebody call my name?" asked Darla who suddenly appeared out of nowhere magically... Buffy glared at her... "Ahh.... Angel.... Why are you up there on the bar dressed in..... that." Darla asks "WHAT??? Does it look bad on me?" he freaked... "Does anyone have a mirror???!?" Cordelia threw him a small pocket mirror... and... Angel checked himself out and breathed a sigh of relief, and tossed Cordelia the mirror back. "Come on, Angel... we don't have all day... are you going to give us a strip show or not?" demanded Buffy "Because if you're not... I'll just have to go find some action somewhere else," she continued. "What! No...Don't leave me" angel yelled, tossing off the black-shirt he was wearing. "EWWWW!!!!" yelled Leo, as the black t-shirt landed in his chocolate covered bunny ears "AHHHHH!!!!" screamed Angel, misinterpreting Leo... jumping off the bar, and running back into the closet. "Wussy," muttered Cole, disapprovingly. "Think you can do better than my wussy huh?" asked Buffy. "Yeah, I think I can... you just watch me... I was after all hired." "Piper...You hired Cole as a stripper?" asked the bunny Leo. "Of course, my little bun bun.... who else could I hire?" asked Piper, petting Leo. "Why didn't you ask me?" he complained. "Because.... you don't look that good in black leather pants," she said. "But... But... but... I'm your chocolate covered bun-bun!!" "Of course you are... Would you like to lap dance wearing only your bunny ears, sweetie?" "No thanks," mumbled Leo, looking sulkily... "That's what I thought... Now be a good little bunny and stay quiet while mummy's watching the new employee and evaluating his presentation...." The disco ball turned, flashed lights, and strobe lights...well strobes. Suddenly, all eyes were on Cole. He pulled off his black t-shirt and tossed it in to the crowd... ("Ewww" said Leo as the black shirt landed on him.) He then slowly took off his shredded black leather pants he had fought Angel over. Throwing them to the screaming crowd again... he was in his silk black boxers, smirking "Oh crap.... He's really gonna do it," said Pheobe nervously, biting her lip. He winked at her. She shook her head. He nodded. She shook her head. He nodded, grinning madly.. She shook her head... "noooooo....." "Yeessss..." "But, our secret will be out...." "So?" "Well for one her father would not like you to be stripping anymore if you want Pheobe's hand in marriage," said her dad, who came back into the club. Cole's face fell... "K'dokey..." he said, jumping off the bar, giving Pheobe a peck on the cheek. "But, I'll promise you soon that the whole world will know...." Pheobe frowned, and smacked him on the head, pulling him away into the now empty make out closet. The sounds that came from the closet: You're mine.... all mine!!! *evil cackle* Shut up... and put that mouth to better use.... Then some other not so pleasant sounds: OWWW!!!! Sorry.... Insane idiot!! Alliteration. Shut up! " came from inside the closet. "HEHHEHEHE!!! That tickles."  
Suddenly, the crowd drew a foot away from the closet door. "Hmmm... We should try that again sometime..." muttered Buffy to angel, but angel wasn't there anymore... "Oh no he ran into the closet...." remembered Buffy. "EEEEEKKKK!!!!! What are you doing to my foot!!!! Sicko!" yelled Angel from the closet, his voice echoing around the room. A rustling sound.... "Eugh.... Cole, baby, is that you?" muttered Pheobe. "Oh oh..." said Angel. *smack* "Ow...." "You idiot... That was me!" "Sorry, Pheebs..." *smack* "Don't call me Pheebs!" "Ouch! Who smacked my butt?" asked Angel "oh oh... I was wondering why Cole was so smooth and flabby all of a sudden." "I am not flabby!" retorted Angel. "Are too... I felt it." Said Pheobe. "Pheobe!! Did you just smack Angel's butt and said it was flabby?" yelled Buffy, storming over to the closet. "YAH! I did...though I thought it was Cole's... " "Angel is right...he does not have a flabby butt." Buffy said. A muffled thank you floats out through the door. "He has a puffy butt!" corrected Buffy. "BUFFY!" whined Angel. "Don't worry, sweetums.... I like your puffy butt," said Buffy, through the wood of the door. "Hmm, she's right it is puffy..." "I have to agree with you on that one...." "Buffy!!! Everyone's touching my butt!" yelled Angel. "Be happy that everyone wants to touch your butt," muttered Leo, who's still irritated in his bunny ears... "I want to touch your butt," said Darla, appraising him in a sweet tone. "I want to make sure I'm the only who touches your butt, my hunny bun," says Pheobe to Cole, pulling on the leash....  
  
AN: OK I know its not finished and it probably never will be, but I hope you enjoyed it. 


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